Monday, February 21, 2011

Aunty

"Aunty, what am I going to wear when I'm the flowergirl?"
"Oh sweetie, I don't believe in flowergirls."

No, I don't believe in flowergirls. Or bridesmaids. Or bouquets. Or being walked down the aisle. Or expensive vintage cars. Or my parents paying for the day. Or someone doing my makeup. Or 'repeat after me'.

I don't believe in tradition for tradition's sake. I believe in meaning.

I believe in telling him I love him surrounded by more people that I love, then eating and drinking and dancing to some mighty fine tunes.

I believe in this day being one of hospitality. I believe in looking beautiful for him, and he for me.

"Marianna, you will have a much more important job at the wedding. You and Will will be official wedding photographers, and you'll get your own cameras and will have to take photos of certain things and your photos will be part of our photos of the day. How does that sound?"
"Can I keep the camera afterwards?"

Monday, January 24, 2011

Here's a day I never thought would happen


The gift registry.

I was adamant against it. The idea gives me the creepies up my neck. A wedding is not about gifts, especially forewarned gifts. ESPECIALLY forewarned gifts. It's about coming together to celebrate a choice. I love gifts, but, to quote Charlotte in my favourite SATC episode A Woman's Right To Shoes, "marrying Harry is gift enough!"

All I wanted was a charity or two. Simple, non?

So apparently people will most likely want to give us gifts. But, but, them coming is gift enough! Some people will want to give us gifts even if we would prefer a donation to charity. I don't know, if my friend asked for a donation to charity, I'd donate to their charity. And deliver some flowers, or take them for dinner when the last of the wedding cake has gone.

We compromised on choosing a charity each (guide dogs for me!) and perhaps a honeymoon registry. We don't need a toaster, we need Turkey! Turns out what I assumed a honeymoon fund to be is not so (ie Expedia lets you set up an account, people drop in cash, you spend it on flights and hotels and stuff when you finally decide to have a honeymoon). Instead the only choices out there are to set up an account on a pastel-coloured site dotted with clipart and itemise your already-planned honeymoon (4 nights at Chateau Toomanypillows, scuba diving for 2, 1 hour Swedish massage...) and they take a percentage for the privilege.

So here I am, having taken a deep breath, and have rationalised a gift registry plus one charity. I suggested Saks not knowing if they sell anything beyond shoes.

Now, which charity? Choosing one charity, albeit with the helping hand of Charity Navigator, is going to be hard. He has great choices, but how can I look beyond guide dogs?

If only there was a charity that provided guide dogs that fed the poor while supporting the Red Cross.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Words I Hope I Never End Up Saying American

Parmizhan for parmesan. Where did it come from, parmizhan?

New Year's Resolutions on 12 January

I grabbed some Vietnamese From Miss Chu and wrote down 10 heartfelt resolutions for the year. This is the good thing about getting married, is that you have someone there to spur you on to be your best self, so it felt right to concrete some goals for the year.

1. Get back into writing

2. Host dinner parties

3. Learn Swedish
I grew up watching Ingmar Bergman films (which explains a lot) and hearing Swedish did something to me deep inside. I would love to learn it if only for the pleasure of hearing it more.

4. Cook a recipe a week from our cookbooks

5. Practice regular yoga and meditation

6. GET MY FUCKING TAX DONE

7. Less swearing

8. Read the written word
More books, less phones/laptops/TV in bed

9. Secret for the moment

10. Watch some classic movies finally and less 'hen in a pumpkin' on YouTube